can I check your passport he asked yes sir this picture doesn’t look like you yes it does said Mr. bean. well I guess you cant go on your flight why not because we need to see your picture alright said Mr. bean. He walked over to the photo both to a get a photo for his passport click!!! owww I wasn’t ready said Mr. bean click!!! I wasn’t ready!!!! said Mr. bean. So Mr. bean left the air port in a hurry and on the way he saw a speeding camera and tried to run really fast next to the camera and didn’t get a photo.
dear Acie I enjoyed the action that you used and that you had Mr. Bean as your main character.
maybe next time you can use some of these when your character is talking “hi” said Mr. bean ok.
you did a really good job.
I think you used dialogue, but you forgot the speech marks. The other one was action because you had lots of verbs.
Hello Acie,
I can see someone has already left a comment with good advice to help your writing so I concentrated on the story itself.
Mr Bean is very like the one in movies where something always seems to go wrong. This would make a good episode idea for Mr Bean. Well done.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia